tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-91055742009-09-23T18:17:20.070-07:00Michaelnoreply@blogger.comBlogger245125tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-9105574.post-73480550720455837412007-03-10T08:39:00.000-08:002007-03-10T08:46:41.241-08:00

We're going fishing today. Might as well. It's in the 70s for the first time I can remember. Last night I drank 12 beers at home while L drank endless glasses of wine. Then we went to a bar. The girl at the end of the bar held her head down on the wood as she struggled through whatever conversation was taking through the speaker of her cell phone. I thought she was going to kiss her equally hot

Michaelnoreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-9105574.post-1153667269506841912006-07-23T08:07:00.000-07:002006-07-23T08:07:49.816-07:00

Michaelnoreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-9105574.post-1153279740571458892006-07-18T20:22:00.000-07:002006-07-18T20:29:00.950-07:00

Became vegetarian. I Don't really know why. Maybe because a friend of mine is vegetarian and when he talks about it it made sense to stop eating meat. Not for ethical reasons. Just for general health reasons.Been planning a wedding with a girl I've been together with for six years. It's amazing how completely unnecessary a man is in the wedding planning process. My genitals are stored neatly in a

Michaelnoreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-9105574.post-1152713233895496952006-07-12T07:06:00.000-07:002006-07-12T07:07:14.436-07:00

Probably not safe for work

Michaelnoreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-9105574.post-1152142694561612392006-07-05T16:37:00.000-07:002006-07-05T16:38:15.043-07:00

Michaelnoreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-9105574.post-1150169415226694712006-06-12T20:29:00.000-07:002006-06-12T20:30:15.876-07:00

Michaelnoreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-9105574.post-1149204456485464402006-06-01T16:27:00.000-07:002006-06-01T16:28:38.546-07:00

You down with OPP?___ Yes___ No___ Yeah, you know meYou down with OPP?___ Yes___ No___ Yeah, you know meWho down with OPP?___ Me___ Not me___ Every last homie

Michaelnoreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-9105574.post-1149134479234968932006-05-31T21:00:00.000-07:002006-05-31T21:02:37.736-07:00

Michaelnoreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-9105574.post-1148479861093771572006-05-24T07:08:00.000-07:002006-05-24T07:11:01.496-07:00

Please don't.

Michaelnoreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-9105574.post-1147308616505439502006-05-10T17:42:00.000-07:002006-05-10T17:54:39.936-07:00

get caught masturbating furiously to pictures of your boss' family.leave copies of exotic porn on your desk: fat broads, over 50, and barely legal will suffice.whenever someone asks you a question, stare back at them and suck your teeth for 30 seconds before you respond.when someone asks you what you're doing this week, mumble something about killing kittens. chuckle.make sure everyone can hear

Michaelnoreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-9105574.post-1144802867727979292006-04-11T17:43:00.000-07:002006-04-11T17:47:47.746-07:00

At night I've been dreaming, nightmaring, of the past a lot. Usually of people and places I miss. When I wake up in the middle of the night I feel strange. Like a composite of lonely and startled, as if the dream absolutely has to mean something but I don't know how to figure it out and I'm missing a very important message my subconscious is trying to tell me.

Michaelnoreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-9105574.post-1141442042180333742006-03-03T19:05:00.000-08:002006-03-03T19:16:00.266-08:00

What I'm drinking this Friday night:Hells yeah! Oh yeah, and here's a hot girl:

Michaelnoreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-9105574.post-1141101748283099812006-02-27T20:37:00.000-08:002006-02-28T21:52:15.653-08:00

I went to a tanning salon tonight. And not because I'm a vain Guido. It was because I'm way too white and a slight image boost will motivate me to get into shape by summer. There's kind of a sick desperation in being "the guy" at the tanning salon.I jumped out of the car at the shopping center and the second I walked in I realized my fly was down. This drastically intensified the stress I was

Michaelnoreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-9105574.post-1141000852971257322006-02-26T16:35:00.000-08:002006-02-26T16:41:38.586-08:00

Fridays are for naps, Saturdays are for chili and margaritas on the couch while watching Cops and Sunday is for trying to make chicken parmesan, sewing a button back onto your blazer and updating the iPod for the week. Unfortunately, it's also thinking about sit-ups because by this summer you want to have a look about you that will make women, upon talking to you for just a few minutes, want to

Michaelnoreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-9105574.post-1140846414740876942006-02-24T21:33:00.000-08:002006-02-24T21:46:54.776-08:00

Just like a colon, although mines never had one. So when your life changes so must your blog. Unless of course your blog is a notepad that serves only to document the fluctuations of your life.I'm hungry tonight but everything I have requires preparation. When my ship comes in I want to hire a full-time Greek chef who will make gyros on demand. The only rules will be she has to cook in high heels

Michaelnoreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-9105574.post-1136342749677370922006-01-03T18:40:00.000-08:002006-01-03T18:45:49.696-08:00

Ladder Theory examines the relationship between men and women as both friends and fuck buddies:Women seem to especially like it if you are more devoted to your bad music, biker gang, forearm tattoo or marijuana. These all seem to work wonders. There are some interests you can show in a woman that will help you to fuck her: a healthy interest in

Michaelnoreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-9105574.post-1136267456477412202006-01-02T21:50:00.000-08:002006-01-02T21:56:19.686-08:00

I'll finally admit that I like hockey. Not that I always have, but for the past few months I've been making an honest attempt at getting into it. It's the first time I've successfully convinced myself to appreciate a sport I wouldn't otherwise give much of a fuck about. More action plus raw combat with sticks and blades is hard to argue with. Maybe next to boxing, its one of the last un-tainted

Michaelnoreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-9105574.post-1133491083348123842005-12-01T18:34:00.000-08:002005-12-01T18:38:03.433-08:00

Here are some bad jokes. Enjoy, then leave your own:Q: How many kids with ADD does it take to screw in a lightbulb?A: Wanna go ride bikes?****A pedophile and a little boy were walking into the woods. A storm was approaching and it was getting dark and windy."I'm scared" says the little boy."You're scared?!?" says the pedophile, "I'm the one who has to walk out alone..."****What did the deaf,

Michaelnoreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-9105574.post-1133318073732074882005-11-29T18:33:00.000-08:002005-11-29T20:06:52.856-08:00

Random Chuck Norris factsChuck Norris once roundhouse kicked someone so hard that his foot broke the speed of light, went back in time, and killed Amelia Earhart while she was flying over the Pacific Ocean.Chuck Norris does not have AIDS but he gives it to people anyway.Rather than being birthed like a normal child, Chuck Norris insteaddecided to punch his way out of his mother's womb. Shortly

Michaelnoreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-9105574.post-1132281261053736622005-11-17T18:34:00.000-08:002005-11-17T20:50:56.216-08:00

The new design is a work in progress. Post your feedback here for any tips or suggestions.

Michaelnoreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-9105574.post-1132274729431332612005-11-17T16:29:00.000-08:002005-11-17T16:56:28.760-08:00

Representative John Murtha (D-PA) today provided an absolutely schocking and absolutely fucking real comment in regard to the war in Iraq:"U.S. and coalition troops have done all they can in Iraq," the senior lawmaker said. "It's time for a change in direction."He said he believes all the forces could be redeployed over a six-month period.Murtha, a former Marine Corps colonel and veteran of the

Michaelnoreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-9105574.post-1130376044604042572005-10-26T18:15:00.000-07:002005-10-26T18:21:30.080-07:00

I'm quitting smoking. I'm not really quitting but I'm just kind of not smoking so much any more.I started smoking 11 years ago at the age of 17. I had been dating a girl at the time who smoked. When she broke up with me, I thought I could be closer to her by have an occasional smoke every now and again. I even started smoking her brand of cigarettes, which in retrospect reminds me that even I am

Michaelnoreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-9105574.post-1129951574156039002005-10-21T20:13:00.000-07:002005-10-21T20:27:19.296-07:00

If you give someone enough rope, they will hang themself somewhere along an infinite timeline.Just ask Tom Delay. Just ask Bill Frist. And get ready to ask Karl Rove. Those of us who have been waiting for a group of heroes to rise up and dismantle this evil that this conspiracy of men has caused not only the U.S. but also the whole world are a bit surprised that the ultimate bitch slap will come

Michaelnoreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-9105574.post-1129866222380627712005-10-20T20:40:00.000-07:002005-10-20T20:44:39.986-07:00

In texas in never really gets to be autumn, it just kind of goes from mild late summer to windy cold february. Right now we're in late summer, meaning its still in the 70s and 80s. One day soon I will wake up and it will be 25 and I"ll be scraping ice off my windshield wondering what the fuck happened I was sweating yesterday. I miss being in a place where the leaves really turn colors. Lots of

Michaelnoreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-9105574.post-1129777251118738842005-10-19T19:45:00.000-07:002005-10-19T20:09:00.223-07:00

I visited Austin, Texas for this first time in 1991. I was there to attend my sister's wedding. I was 14. I was watching tv at her apartment one night and was amazed at the public access television there. Fucking anybody could have a show after a short wait on a list. One show was a bunch of teenagers sitting on the couch, stoned out of their mind, talking about sex. I would so fuck her, one

Michaelnoreply@blogger.com0